One of my clients, who I will name Mary for purposes of this article, told me about a small voice inside saying words of wisdom, which she chose to ignore because they did not match the direction she was determined to take. She found out later that the direction she chose did not serve her well. As a result, she judged herself and her situation.
During our coaching, she let go of judgments and came present to the reality of what happened. She acknowledged the presence of that wise inner voice in this situation as well as many others. In neutrality, she was able to see how a pattern of selective hearing had been prominent throughout her life.
She realized the wise inner voice has always been present in so many ways. She also recognized the part inside who was so invested in a different course of action that would immediately choose to ignore and disregard the wisdom of that small inner voice.
This recognition was a huge revelation because she no longer had to linger in the judgment and criticism of the past. Instead, she awoke to the ways her attachments, although loving and well-intended, were blocking her from accessing the source of guidance coming from the small inner voice.
I write this story as an illustration of a typical pattern for many of us.
The behavior of ignoring the wisdom of the small inner voice is based on a loving and devoted intention often motivated by the anxiety of getting things done within a deadline, responding to the pressure of a request, or attempting to please others.
However, in doing so, we become deaf to our inner wisdom, which leaves us feeling separate, incomplete, and somehow dissatisfied, even when we timely comply with the deadline, the request, or someone’s expectations of us. This sense of separation, incompletion, and dissatisfaction can grow even more when we judge ourselves, perpetuating the pattern.
Consequently, we distance ourselves from the truth of who we are and become increasingly forceful and demanding with ourselves and others. We adopt a “Command & Control” style of leadership because this is how we are operating inside of us every time we disregard that small inner voice. We blindly command and control ourselves and others and, in doing so, remain limited by our unconscious attachments.
By recognizing this patten of selective hearing, this client allowed herself the opportunity to connect with the wisdom of her small inner voice inside whose only request was to be acknowledged.
Note that the small inner voice did not command to be followed or obeyed. It only requested acknowledgment. This request for acknowledgement reflects the energy upon which the small inner voice rides upon. It’s not an energy of "my way or the highway”. Rather, it is an energy of “and, check this out, here is something else to consider.”
I am pointing out the different energetics because this helps us recognize the voices within us, not so much by the content of what they bring forward, but by the energy they ride on.
Finally, this client decided to cultivate the habit of acknowledging the small inner voice inside by writing it down and making it tangible on the paper. She did not commit to agree with it or follow it, but to simply acknowledge it on the paper.
Whether she decides to follow the small inner voice or not is completely irrelevant. The point here is that by the simple acknowledgment of that small inner voice, she steps into the place of the observer within, and in such place, she dissociates herself from her attachments, what others expect of her, or the pressures of the physical world. Instead, she increasingly becomes a truer representation of her innate essence.
